stuartandnicola.com

I meant to upload this ages ago - it perhaps needs an update to include new BeerXP and Windows Vista Beer...

DOS Beer
Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep drinking it after it's no longer available.

Mac Beer
At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.

I've seen this before, but not in a long time, so I thought I'd add it to the site!

Congratulations to all the kids who were born in the 1930s, 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

Not posted anything from Al in a while as I've been too busy, but he sent this one that I'd not seen before:

• Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
  "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
• In a Podiatrist's office:
  "Time wounds all heels."
• On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
  "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"
• At a Proctologist's door:
  "To expedite your visit please back in."
• On a Plumber's truck:
  "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
• At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee
  "Invite us to your next blowout."

I was tidying up some stuff on the computer, and I found this link which I'd forgotten about.

If you ever had a ZX Spectrum, played Manic Miner, The Hobbit, Knight Lore or Jet Pac then this will bring back lots of memories!

How camp? Are we talking one tent, or the entire site? Click the picture to view the movie!

1. How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
2. Which country makes Panama hats?
3. From which animal do we get catgut?
4. In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5. What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6. The Canary Islands in the Atlantic are named after what animal?
7. What was King George VI's first name?
8. What color is a purple finch?
9. Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10. What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

It sounds so horribly familiar. Recently, a guy in our age group was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - *Age* *Activated* Attention Deficit Disorder. Here is what he sent me as he explains how it affected him.

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and

A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The women notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

Bond explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any knickers ..."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing knickers!"

Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody thing's an hour fast."

I've seen this written down before, but I've never heard an audio version of it...